Anybody Out There ? Notes from A Freak in Control

Starting a new business or going it alone as a sole trader can be a scary but exciting process. Contented Brands has now been up and running for nearly two months and I am beginning to notice so many changes happening around me and to me.

The first thing that happened was that I not only started talking to myself, even more than usual, but I welcomed the opportunity to talk with absolutely anyone that would listen and even some that wouldn't ie the people at HSBC business, my new accountant, the postman (he was one of the one's that didn't listen), the tax office, my neighbours, the very patient Turnham Green tube station newsagent and the people at AOL who helped me me sort out my wireless connection. They traveled with me via the long distance call centre telephone to discover the source of my misery (If you are interested it was the original buried telephone socket, hidden in the back of a cupboard, which neither my husband or I knew existed - at the time for me it was a true Narnia moment - forget about fur coats, snow and magical fawns!) I didn't realise how much I depended upon talking with other people.

Then the second thing that happened was that I really started noticing people on tubes and in cafes and wondering what they did for a living and where they where going. But don't worry I didn't talk with these people, I hadn't completely lost it. In the past the nightmare journey to work had become a Darwinian survival journey of the fittest as I had began to develop a second sense for people just about to vacate their seat.

When I got on the tube I would hover in front of my chosen victim panting like one of those drugs seeking dogs. When the seat was vacated I would pounce on it, lo & behold anyone that got in my way even pregnant ladies didn't get a look in- sorry.

Once the seat was secured I would block out the world out with my i-pod and book wishing my life away rattling through the dark tunnels.

If I couldn't secure a seat I normally traveled with my head stuck in some bankers armpit or with women fainting at my feet (pregnant ladies who couldn't get a seat maybe?),which by the way happened twice due to overcrowding and each time I helped them off the train - I think that may have been down to guilt more than altruistic spirit.

On one journey I practically carried a small Italian tourist on my back as he insisted on leaning on me heavily for the entire journey - when he finally got off I felt like charging him amongst other things.

Since I started working for myself the journeys to and from meetings have become more enjoyable. I suppose this is because being a control freak I finally felt like a freak in control as I could schedule all my meetings to allow me to travel outside of rush hour times. I even noticed this William Blake poem the other day

To See the World in a Grain of Sand
And a Heaven in a Wild Flower,
Hold Infinity in the palm of your hand
And Eternity in an hour

It was in someones book I was reading over their shoulder - how poetic is that!

Then the third thing that happened was that I realised that being on your own actually helps you hone your problem solving skills. Working in a large organisation I had become very reliant on moaning about things and then getting other people to sort them out, silly little things like computer glitches and printer problems.

When I couldn't get my wireless connection sorted out I established very quickly a mental map of which cafes in Chiswick from where I could work. Then I actually started to enjoy the process of packing up my computer and stomping off down the High St, ordering a hot choc and then yakking my head off on Skype in any Wireless enabled Cafe that would put up for me for hours on end.

I think that the other bemused customers might have found me annoying but I like to think some were entertained.

So, all in all the experience to date has seen a change in me - I think for the better. There are other smaller things you discover - like you find out who your real friends are and in turn you realise the importance of true friendship.

But most important of all you miraculously find lots of other people out there who are just like you and who are also going it alone and are happy to help and support you. The scary side is that you really don't know where the next bit of business is going to come from but I'd like to think that this is making me better at what I do - so onwards and upwards. Thanks for reading this blog, if you fancy a chat then you know who to contact.